Rejection is a part of life. But when you’re a freelancer, every “no” can dent your pocketbook just as much as your ego. And let’s face it. Writing is a deeply personal profession.

You may be writing about a toaster, but part of your job is to connect with the reader. That means you have to develop a personal relationship with the toaster and really like it. In some ways, the copy you write about the toaster becomes one of your babies and you’re not going to like it if someone tells you they think your baby is ugly.

But it’s going to happen. You can’t avoid rejection, but you can learn to deal with it better. First, don’t take it personally, because it’s not personal, it’s business. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad writer. It does mean you just weren’t the right fit. Here are some of the main reasons clients don’t hire you.

• Price – another writer may have been cheaper
• Experience – another writer may have more experience 
• Nepotism – they may have interviewed other writers because of company policy, then given the job to a family member, friend or writer they’ve worked with previously
• Fit – you (either because of your workflow or voice/style) may not have been the right type of writer to work with their company

There are as many reasons as there are clients. Understanding these reasons exist won’t change the facts, but it will help you stop telling yourself you suck. Now let’s look at some tips for taking the sting out.

Remember: It’s Not You, It’s Them

Author J.K. Rowling’s first Harry Potter manuscript was rejected by 14 publishers before it was finally picked up by U.K. publishing house Bloomsbury (bet those other guys are kicking themselves now!). The brand (including books, films and tie-in merchandise) is now worth $15 billion. If such a prolific novel by such a talented author could be rejected over a dozen times, your rejection is certainly not proof you’re a hack.

Solicit Three More Clients for Every One Who Says “No”

According to veteran copywriter James Lindsey, “NO” stands for “New Opportunity.” I’ll let you read his article for more details, but my takeaway is this: if the customer thought you weren’t the right fit, they were probably right. Don’t spend time worrying about what you did wrong. Throw yourself into finding another one… one you’ll probably like better, anyway. 

After my last rejection, I began working soon after for a major online women’s magazine, a job I wouldn’t have had time to take had I accepted a weighty assignment from the other client. Not only is working for for the women’s magazine a lot more fun than a whitepaper for a financial services firm, it turned out to be more money in the long-run because they kept hiring me.

Celebrate Your Rejection

You heard me! Rejection is a badge of honor for freelancers. You’re not really one of us until it’s happened at least three times (if not 100). Call a friend, go for a coffee or beer and toast to the client who gave you another battle scar to brag about!

If All Else Fails…

Rejection often hurts the most when you feel like the client meeting went really well. In those situations, it’s hard not to over-analyze the meeting. “Did he hate my joke about zebras and just laughed to be nice?” “Did she call one of my other clients who secretly hates me?” You’ll drive yourself crazy!

For the next time you can’t get the noise to stop, bookmark this video from BruBearBaby, who posted a video of his 8-year-old son, Micah, laughing hysterically as daddy rips up a rejection letter. If you aren’t in a great mood after this, you should probably seek professional help.

"Give me a tight deadline, then don’t return my calls or emails"

What Clients Should Know

Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do about it. (I feel your pain.) But you can do a few things to reduce the impact. Keep in mind that we run a business. You’re not our only client and if you don’t communicate with us, not only do you affect your own project, but you could throw off our entire production schedule and affect other clients’ projects, as well. So, if you’re so busy you don’t know what day it is (or what city you’re in), what do you do?

• Call or email us, even if it’s just to let us know that you’re slammed. We really do understand. Sometimes, we might even be able to help you by adjusting your deadline or our business hours.

• If you know something is happening that will affect our deadline (whether it's your fault or not), just let us know. Things change and you're not always in control of it. In this case, honesty is the best policy. It happens to our business, too. We won't judge you, but we will appreciate that you didn't leave us hanging because you didn't want to admit you didn't have it as "together" as you wanted. That happens at least 50 percent of the time. Trust me… you're not alone. 

• Are you one of those people who just procrastinates no matter what? Let me tell you a secret. Some freelancers are, too. Even if your freelancer is a task-lister like me, we understand that we may be the weird ones. Just be honest. I can be flexible with a deadline if I know it’s coming (freelance = flexibility) . If you don’t mind if it’s two days late, I won't either.

• If we’re having trouble reaching you, don’t later try to hold us to the original deadline. Things come up (for every client), but we’re mere freelancers, not superheroes. 

• Keep in mind that we're creative professionals. We seek collaboration and insight by our nature. We want to know enough about your business to accurately portray your company in a positive light. That's how the best stuff is created! Sometimes, we have no choice but to seek your input. Sometimes, we need you to be involved. Trust me when I tell you that we won't ask you questions unless we NEED additional input. If freelancers were superheroes, we’d be Batman… we work alone for the most part, but sometimes we work with Wonder Woman because we don’t have the cool invisible jet and Lasso of Truth.

What Freelancers Should Know

First, it's important to realize that usually, clients really aren't doing it on purpose. Keep in mind they have a business to run (just like you do) and as much as it can suck for us, we aren't the center of their universe. They have problem customers, problem employees, and yea, sometimes they have problems in their lives. You can't change it, but you can mitigate its impact you your performance. 

• Do your best to find the answers to your questions on the web and do as much as you can without their input. You won’t get everything, but that’s all you can do until you can talk to them.

• Call or email the client and communicate your concerns (well in advance of your deadline). Let them know that you understand they have a business to run and that, while it’s not an issue for you, it will affect the deadline. Give them a clear directive, but don’t be pushy or mean (it’s not professional). Just tell them that if they don’t communicate with you by a certain specific time, you won’t be able to make the deadline (be clear and precise). You’ve now put them in control of the fate of the project.

• If possible, offer to meet during off hours (evenings and weekends). Some clients just have trouble finding time during the business day, especially if they’re small-business owners who perform multiple tasks.

• You do use a contract, right? These days, its a necessary evil (in most cases). Write language into your contract that explains that your milestones and deadlines are based on timely and thorough communication with them. If you don't use a contract, at least communicate important facts via email.  After speaking with clients, email them a summary of your conversation.

• Remember that you have a business to run, too. Don’t spend too much time and energy trying to communicate with someone who may be too busy. Work on other projects or hit the streets and find new clients.

• If you have a client who’s a repeat offender and it’s starting to cause you issues, you might have to consider firing them. If it’s not causing issues, just know that’s their M.O. and be prepared to deal.

Just noticed this post at Men with Pens about how to get more from your freelancer. I hope all my clients read this (though most already abide by it, I'm happy to say). As guest blogger James Hipkins points out, we freelancers are only asking for what every business professional wants.

The only comment I'd add is about item three. I expect to get paid fairly for the work I do and have set my rates based on local market value, my level of experience, etc., but I don't mind haggling within reason. Asking me to give you half off a $200 project the first time I work with you isn't kosher. But asking me to come down $50 on a $750 project in order to fit into the budget your boss gave you isn't unreasonable (nor do I think that's what James was trying to say).

If you don't already, I highly recommend you subscribe to the Men with Pens feed. Either way, take a look at the article in question at Men with Pens.